Promises. They are certainly powerful things. When they are made, and kept, they can form a strong relationship between people. When Hurricane Sandy hit the east coast several years ago, my brother’s home was hit hard by the storm surge. He had extensive damage to the lower level and was without power for 3-4 weeks. I was here in the Chicago area high and dry and struggled for a couple days about whether I should leave home and go help my brother. Finally, I promised his wife that I would be there and drove across the country, generator in tow, to NJ. I spent a week helping him get back on his feet. To this day, nothing has bonded us together as did that promise made, and promise kept.
But when they are made, and left unkept, they can damage a relationship. There are the times that I promised Elise that I would be home at a certain time after a motorcycle ride so that we could go out on a date together. Of course, more often than not, something would hold me up and had to cancel our date. Elise is always saying to me, “I never get my hopes up, so that I won’t be disappointed.” It is said that every broken promise is a broken heart. Marriage itself is a promise, of course. We promise each other that we will remain faithful in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer until death do us part.
My older brother was married to a really wonderful girl. I told him when they were dating that he would be crazy to let her go. He didn’t. When he was 48 he had a cerebral aneurysm and went into a coma. He came out of the coma but was never “normal” again. He suffered neurological handicaps, he had repeated seizures, became very difficult to deal with overall, eventually winding up in a nursing home and passing away at the age of 58. Halfway through the ordeal, his wife decided to divorce him and return to her home state. Leaving my elderly Mother to care for my brother. Saw this quote about marriage while doing my research:
“In a marriage, you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things… all of it, all of the time, every day. You’re saying “Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness”. (Susan Sarandon – Shall we Dance)
The most famous broken promise came from Peter when he said to Jesus that he would never leave him. Yet he denied Christ three times. He also promised to stay awake and wait for Jesus to return in the Garden of Gethsemane.
So sometimes promises are kept, and sometimes they are not. In today’s Gospel, Christ makes it abundantly clear that we are not to make oaths…promises. Why? Isn’t it a virtuous thing to promise someone that you will do something courageous or valiant for them? To rescue them or return from war to them. It is the stuff for on screen close ups. But is it really the stuff for life? Jesus tells His apostles:
But I say to you, do not swear at all;
not by heaven, for it is God’s throne;
nor by the earth, for it is his footstool;
nor by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King.
Do not swear by your head,
for you cannot make a single hair white or black.
In other words, you don’t control the things you need to control that would enable you to keep most of your vows. Only God can do that. There are many things that can stand in the way of you keeping your promise, and thus crushing the spirit of those you have made the promise to. Instead, Jesus tells them:
Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’
Anything more is from the Evil One.”
In other words, as Maverick says to Rooster in Top Gun: “Don’t think, just do!” There is no need to promise that you WILL do something…just do it. Be firm of mind and firm of decision. In today’s first reading from Acts, Barnabas goes to Antioch and is driven by the Holy Spirit to help the new believers come closer to Christ. He goes to Tarsus to bring Saul back to Antioch. There was no need to promise anything. He saw what was needed to be done and did it.
And as a final example, there is the story of Louie Zamperini, the American Prisoner of War who suffered extreme torture at the hands of the Japanese during World War II. At some point in the ordeal, he made an “If…then” promise to God. “If you save me, I will serve you forever.” And He did…and he did. Great story. But one does nit make bargains with God. You pledge to serve Him through anything. Not only if things turn out well for you. Look at the countless martyrs for the faith. God didn’t “save” them. At least not in the secular sense. And in the end, that is what a promise amounts to. A bargain with the other person that you is likely not in your power to control. So rather than promise…just do it (sorry Nike).
