Let me start by saying that the above title is not a typo. Let me explain:
I am not the same person I was 20 years ago…or 10 years ago…or last year…or yesterday. I have changed in many ways as, I am sure, all you have as well. These changes have occurred physically (I used to have an afro hair cut, believe it or not), emotionally (I think I tend to cry more now than I did when I was younger. I found myself getting teary-eyed over a blood pressure medication commercial the other day…OK, not really) and spiritually. Which, of course, is what I will be addressing today. After all, this IS a Catholic blog!!
I went to Catholic grammar school and high school. My faith was always important to me but always on the periphery. Sort of took it out when the need arose or I had the time for it. If I missed mass? Not really a big deal. Used the Lord’s name in vain, or lost my temper? Unfortunate, but not a deal breaker. The seasons of the Church year were no different than any other date on the calendar. More like a holiday than a spiritual event.
When I went away to college I attended mass occasionally at the Newman Center on campus but my focus was certainly getting grades to qualify for veterinary school. I dabbled a bit with an Evangelical group but returned to the Catholic Church after realizing the group’s desire to control the behavior of each member very tightly. But Jesus was starting to matter more to me. When I met my wife, who most of you know is Jewish, her faith forced me to evaluate my faith and my beliefs. Were they important enough to risk my relationship with her? Turns out, it was. And it was to her as well. And the two of us have grown together ever since.
The Cursillo movement was the next recognizable factor in my faith journey. I experienced other Catholics whose faith burned inside them. I saw how it transformed these people from lives that were headed to the abyss but then raised up to become joyful. I wanted that. I also saw Christ work through Cursillo on a one of the members of our weekly Cursillo group. I can honestly say that the Holy Spirit grabbed Sam and moved him. He went into the weekend a Catholic whose job as an attorney was paramount to him and about 2 years later he found himself in Seminary. And in about 6 weeks from now he will be the only surviving seminarian from our diocese to become ordained.
And now, The Apostles. We all know how Peter denied Christ and how Thomas didn’t believe, and Matthew was a tax collector and Judas? Well, you know. But they turned out to be the instruments Christ used to spread His Gospel. We are Christians today because of broken people like Peter and Paul. What causes this transformation in people? Well, the canned answer is the Holy Spirit. And it is true. But how does it happen.
For the longest time I was confused by a couple readings in the new Testament. The first is from John 20:22.
“And when he had said this, he breathed on them, and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. “
In this passage, Jesus has appeared to His followers after His Resurrection and before His Ascension. He then tells them that sins they forgive are forgiven and those that are bound, are bound. A lot of power and responsibility to people who just a short time ago would not even stand up for Jesus at His crucifixion. So, that’s it then, right? They got the Holy Spirit. Good to go. They have been filled to the brim and ready to take on the world. Except they are not.
Why? Because Jesus tells them to expect the Paraclete, the Holy Spirit, to come upon them once he leaves them and returns to the Father. So we see in Acts 2:2-4 this event:
When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. 2 Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. 3 They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. 4 All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.
Well NOW they must be set. They have THE Holy Spirit. After all, they can speak in tongues!! How cool is that. Now they must REALLY be filled up with the Holy Spirit. And they are. They go out and preach in the streets, in the temples, to the Sanhedrin. They are proclaiming Christ as the Messiah to the very people who crucified Him!! And they are healing the sick and raising the dead. That’s it. They are set for life. Except, not.
Later in Acts we see that there is division over issues like circumcision, and do Gentiles have to become Jewish before following Christ, and what about getting paid for preaching, and even distribution of resources. And do you need to maintain Kosher laws. Many disciples fell away from the faith waiting for Christ to return in their lifetime.
So, you don’t just get this Holy Spirit blast one time, have tongues lit up on fire messing up your hair-do and then, that’s it. You’re done? Think about it. We are baptized. We receive our First Communion. We go through Confirmation. We go through Reconciliation. Repeatedly. But, what’s the deal. Doesn’t it stick?
We are converted into Christ in small steps throughout our lives. We begin as infants both in terms of age and in terms of our spiritual journeys. And we grow. That is if we open our hearts to God’s word…God’s Spirit…a little at a time. Over and over. And before you know it, we’ve changed. The Apostles were called not because they were perfect. But they also were not persons devoid of faith or character. Jesus saw something in them. Something to be nurtured to the point of being His hands to work His miracles.
And death, I believe, does not stop the process of maturing. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the Communion of Saints, the Forgiveness of Sins, the Resurrection of the Body and the Life of the World to Come. Amen. It is a process. Today we are the Church Militant. Struggling against the influence of sin in the world. Then we die into the Church Penitent. Becoming purified after death as we wait to meet God. And, finally, the Church Triumphant. Meeting God face to face. And at that point we can look back at how far we have come. Then recognize that without the Spirit constantly refilling us, we would have been trying to run our race on empty. The Apostles needed an infusion of the Spirit after the Resurrection and at Pentecost, as well as countless times before and afterwards. And this is our journey as well. Let’s grab hold and let the Spirit take us for a ride of a lifetime…and an after-lifetime.
