What Are You Willing to Give Me?
Judas asks this question to the chief priests in the Gospel reading today. He wants to know what they will give him for handing over Jesus. Judas is human. He is lured by temptation, by greed, by the lust for wealth, and perhaps by fear – and he gives into this temptation and hands Jesus over.
And so, he makes a deal with the devil – what are you willing to give me, for handing over the Son of God?
But before we go and condemn Judas, let’s examine our own hearts. How often, when tempted with our own vices and sin and the fear and anxiety, how often do we ask this same question? How often do we try to make this same deal? Perhaps the you in this deal is directly with the devil, perhaps its indirect, and the you is our own self, trying to twist things enough to justify the action.
But the thing is, all of us, to one extent or another from time to time, ask this question. What are you willing to give me? What pleasure will I get? What reward will I receive?
I’m going to illustrate this point through a little experience I had in the previous week, one that I thought of when reflecting on this set of readings. This story involves a trip to the store, some toilet paper, which is the new currency these days it seems, and a somewhat subtle, yet profound decision.
A great deal has been made about toilet paper these days, or the lack thereof, and there are shortages of it everywhere. In fact, it seems every time my wife or I would go to the store, there was no toilet paper or in fact any cleaning supplies to be found.
We’ve seen and heard all the stories in the news where people are stocking up on supplies like toilet paper, and most places now place limit on the number of packages you can purchase. And we’ve heard from grocery store staff about how the shelves are restocked in the morning, and then empty by noon. It’s a mix of frustration, anger, with a little bit of comedy.
Now my wife, as the primary shopper, does a good job of making sure that we always have a good supply of toilet paper, and so we are not in immediate need of running out. But here I was, at the store the other day, and I walked through the toilet paper aisle and low and behold, there were some packages left!
And so I thought to myself, oh, I had better pick some up and get it while it’s here. But then I paused…. and for a few seconds I thought – we don’t need this right now. We have plenty, and all I would be doing is taking it from the shelf when someone else may really be in need of it. I said to myself – this is the problem! People hoard it when they don’t really need to, which then creates shortage. An unnecessary shortage. There is plenty to go around – I don’t want to be part of the problem. When we need it, the toilet paper will be there.
This is a very simplistic story, and I’m not trying to make parallels in buying toilet paper when you don’t need it with the actions of Judas. Had I bought the toilet paper, it would not have been a sin. One could look at it as practical. But I would have been buying more out of greed than need, so perhaps it would have been a venial sin. It was a distinctive moment where I took a literal pause, and was like, you know? The right thing is to leave this here for the people who need it. When we need it, it will be here.
Deep down, I may have asked myself, what are you willing to give me? And I could have justified and said, a few more roles of toilet paper. Not having to worry about running out. But it just did not seem to be the right thing to do. I took pause, before I acted. I thought before I made the decision.
Yes, it’s a simple story, not even comparing apples to apples. But I think it does illustrate a key point. When we ask ourselves or the devil – what are you willing to give me – and we have the answer before us, do we take pause and reflect on the outcome?
Judas didn’t take pause. So often when we sin, it is something that happens in the spur of the moment or out of the blue. We get so busy or distracted or think with sheer emotion that we fail to take pause and think through the ramifications. Or maybe we do know the ramifications, but just don’t take the time to pause and pray and talk with God about it. We want the reward now! Well, been there, done that, got the T-shirt… As I know all of you have from time to time.
Jesus knew what Judas was planning to do. Maybe Judas was greedy. Maybe Judas knew he was in too deep and couldn’t turn back now and was afraid for his own life. Maybe he was afraid of Jesus and Who He truly was, and the thought of Jesus knowing who he, Judas, truly was – a sinner.
Maybe all of the above. Probably.
But he didn’t take pause and think through the ramifications. And then it got to a point where it was too late.
The thing is, the situation doesn’t have to be as big and bold of turning in an innocent Man of God to be killed. It may be taking pause and biting your tongue before saying those hurtful words, or shaming and judging someone just based upon what you see when you don’t know their situation. It may be taking pause, and avoiding those near occasions of sin, those things that may trigger you to fall.
And yes, it can be taking pause and only buying stuff if you truly need it, saving what is there for those who may truly be in need.
And it’s everything in between. So maybe, for the rest of Holy Week, and for the rest of Easter, and for the rest of the month, and for the rest of this pandemic quarantine, and for the rest of the year and beyond – maybe we can all just take a little more pause before acting, before making decisions, and see where that leads us.
