Anxiety. Worry. Fear. All things we struggle with in our daily lives. We too often think about the things that have not come to pass nor ever will be. A figment of our imagination. But for so many of us, it becomes all too real.
I mentioned last week how in dealing with career issues over the last few years, I worked through a bit of a depression. But there was more. There was something deeper. A symptom of years of pressure, but yet a cause of so much pressure. It was working against itself, and compounding upon me. Yes, I deal with anxiety, an anxiety that would almost paralyze me at times, paralyzing me from taking action. An anxiety that would cause me to act out in ways I’m not proud of. An anxiety that was destroying me, thrusting me deeper into fear and worry, and enshrouding me deeper into loneliness.
This personal experience is immediately what I thought of when reflecting upon the readings for today, especially because the second reading is one that has become a guiding light for me in my life, a mantra, a mission statement.
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
make your requests known to God.
Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6. I love this verse so much I have it engraved on the front of my prayer journal. Feeling the presence of God through this verse and so many other people and graces in my life, through relationships where He has been a part, that He has fostered and influenced – each has helped me through this. My wife. My family. My friends. My place of work and co-workers. My therapist. My spiritual director. My Lord and Savior. God has come to me in the spiritual, the mental, the physical and the relational, in His Word and in His Flesh to help me through this. It has been a team effort, and it continues to be a challenge, yet also an exciting, and joyful time.
Joy! Rejoice! This is what this Sunday is for – Gaudete Sunday. And this is how that second reading begins. Rejoice! Rejoice for the life God has given you, and for His coming, for His Presence and for what is to come. I rejoice because through all the struggle, the uncertainty, the pain, and yes, the anxiety, I rejoice because it was through all this that God brought me closer to Him, where He revealed Himself to me. Where He came to me. We don’t want the pain and the darkness in our lives, but it’s in these times where he reveals Himself the most, and for that I am extremely grateful and joyful.
It has helped me reflect and refocus on what life is, and what is important. That there is nothing that we should be anxious about, that God will provide, that we simply need to be thankful for the lot we have been given and present our petitions in prayer to Jesus, and He will fill us with peace, and His grace, and help us through whatever we are experiencing. And we should also not be anxious in seeking out and asking for help in our lives. This took me a while to learn. But it is usually through others that God works and how we see His purpose, how we are healed, and how we find our Purpose. No matter the situation, He must be the focal point, the reason, the glory. And He will get you through.
Purpose. I think this is a lot of what Advent is about. Of course, it’s about the coming of Jesus, of God into the human existence, not only 2000 years ago, not only today, but also in the future. But this is God’s single Purpose – to come into the world and save us. Over and over. And it’s also a time to remind us of His Purpose, and to help us find ours again. I asked this question to myself earlier this week.
While in Adoration, I asked God to reveal what my next step is, the next big thing that I am to do. But then the thought occurred to me – always looking for that next best thing is often what causes anxiety. It’s not about what the next great thing is, the next big ministry to be involved in, the next great idea or vision, the next great product or the next great heroic act. It’s about doing the little thing, right thing, His thing, His purpose in the here and now – in the present. This is how we find purpose, His purpose, in all we do. In the little things, in the every moment.
Looking for the next big thing in this way means that nothing is ever good enough, and this has always gotten me into trouble. That the present is always overshadowed by the concern and worry about the future. God is the big thing, the biggest thing in our lives, and the key is seeing Him, the Big Thing in the present moment. Finding God, and stability though Him in the present moment is a major way to combat the anxiety in our lives. Reaching to Him in prayer, offering our petitions to Him, pulls us out of it, and helps us to see the people in our lives that can help us, and reach out to them for help.
Petition. This is a beautiful part of prayer. In everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. One of the biggest things that has made a difference in the circle of life around me and in my spiritual life was not so much praying for my own requests, but looking around me, looking at the people in my life, and praying on their behalf. Praying for their needs, for their requests, for my enemies, for conversion of heart for people I know – daily.
Amazingly, but not so surprisingly, I’ve seen these prayers work. And it’s calmed the anxiety in my life as it’s helped me to focus on others more, and to see other people and their needs differently, not so much focusing on my own. God knows what we need, and yes it’s OK to pray for things to happen in our own lives. But it brings me so much joy to pray for others and see things change and God at work in their lives, and all the while they may know nothing about it.
This is why I am so joyful this Advent. This is why I am so joyful to write this for all of you, because no matter how big your depression is, or your anxiety is, or that how big that hole in your heart is that you try to fill with whatever – just a little ounce of God is enough to fill it and bring you peace. He is coming. He is here. He always will be.
Today, and every day, is truly a day to be joyful, and to rejoice.