Today’s Gospel reading is personally challenging for me. A little background will help give you an idea why.
In 1978 I transferred from Southern Illinois University in Carbondale, Illinois (USA) to the University of Illinois. I had decided I wanted to apply to veterinary school and, since the vet school was located at the U of I (as we call the school in Illinois: or, as I saw written on the sidewalk once, the Ewe of Eye), I figured continuing my undergraduate program here would increase my chances of being accepted to veterinary school.
It was a big change for me. New school, no friends, much harder curriculum and the pressure of knowing I needed to get all “A” grades in order to have a chance of being accepted into the veterinary program. I had continued going to mass when I was in Carbondale but after moving upstate to U of I, my focus had drifted away from church and to my classes. The evil one knows where we are most vulnerable. But as fate, or faith, would have it, living across the hall from me was Andy Fiedler. Andy was a member of an evangelical group called The Navigators. They had a big presence on college campuses at the time. Andy realized I was drifting I think and he convinced me to attend their church services and bible study. It was the slap in the face I needed to remember that God was still there and that I needed him at this time in my life more than ever.
The problem with Navigators, however, was that they were very anti-Catholic. They saw the church as not being true believers and prayed often for its “conversion”. I am a cradle Catholic and I had never heard this type of animosity towards Catholics before. I came from a primarily Italian neighborhood in New Jersey and we were ALL Catholic. I thought, “wasn’t everyone?” So, this attitude really shook me up. In the end, however, this thankfully pushed me back to Catholicism. The combination of anti-Catholic attitude, combined with Navigator’s attempts to dictate where I lived and who I should live with, caused me to look into the Catholic church on campus, St. John Neuman. And I never looked back. It was like coming home again. I missed the sacraments and the structure of the mass. The tradition. Reconciliation, Catholic music. All of it.
It was in the middle of all of this that I met Elise. My amazing bride of 32 years. We met as I had begun this adult journey into my faith. And she was there to share and help me grow then, as she does now. She was the piece of the puzzle I was missing in my life.
And here is where the challenge comes in….Elise is Jewish. And she is a very faithful Jew. As Catholics we have Chreasters (those who only celebrate Christmas and Easter) and in Judaism there are those who only go to synagogue on the High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Or maybe just associate their faith experiences with “a nice meal” such as at Passover.
This is not Elise. Her devotion to God has always been there and has been a central aspect of her life. But she supported me in my faith. In my attachment to being a Catholic. When we realized that our relationship was getting serious, we had THE talk. Neither of us was going to convert. So the concern then turned to the children we hoped we would have. I expressed my need to have them brought up as Catholic but was OK with them knowing their Jewish roots. This could have been a deal breaker for us but Elise agreed. Both our girls were baptized, received communion and confirmation. They also attended Friday night Shabbat services with us and experienced the Jewish holidays with family since we lived near Elise’s family and they all practiced the faith.
Elise has been by my side at mass every week, even though I was singing in the choir or lectoring. She sat with our girls in the pew without me always sitting along with them, and had to answer questions from the kids regarding Jesus and Catholic customs she did not grow up with. She supported me when I did CRHP and Cursillo weekends and have gotten into the Pro Life movement. She walked the life-sized stations of the cross in St. John, Indiana. She walked 500 miles on the Camino de Santiago with me from France to the Cathedral in Santiago, Spain. She is about as Catholic as a Jew can be. I can honestly say that my Catholicism and her Judaism has grown stronger during the 32 years of our marriage.
Which brings us to today’s Gospel…and my consternation. Jesus tells Thomas, and us, that He is the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Him. He asks Phillip, and us, Do you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in Me?
As Catholics we are told that one of our biggest missions in life is to help get our families to heaven. And to get to heaven, we have to go through Christ. Now, where does that leave me with Elise? Christ came to show the Jews of his time that their focus should be on God. On having the law written on their hearts and not on stone tablets. To make God a personal God. That has been my wife’s relationship with God from the day I met her. She also puts her faith into action. She works on food drives, is a member of Rotary (a service organization) that aids people in many walks of life. She volunteers in the Junior Achievement program by teaching children about business. Her faith shines through in all she does.
But she is not Christian. She has grown up in a tradition that sees Jesus as a teacher and maybe a prophet..but not the Son of God. Where does that leave her when it comes to being saved? Is she doomed because of her birth and her devotion to the faith of her family? And how does that reconcile with the command of helping to get her to heaven?
I wish I could end this reflection with some great theological answer to these questions. A witty, probing ending comment that sets my world right and helps me come to grips with this question. You know how you make certain decisions in your life that you just KNOW were right. That you wouldn’t change even if you could? This is the case with my decision to marry Elise. If I had to do it all over again, knowing what I do now, I would not hesitate to propose again. And accept all the angst that decision brings with it.
I can’t begin to know what is in the Lord’s mind and plan for us..for me..for Elise. I have resigned to the idea that I can just be the best Catholic I can…and Elise will continue to be the best Jew that she can.
And the rest I guess I will have to leave in the hands of the Lord.
Today’s Readings
