A while ago, I had stumbled across a book that meant a great deal to me as a child. It was of a niche interest, and even among the geeky circles I traverse, it’s pretty uncommon. (I all-but-guarantee you haven’t heard of it.) But this book captured my imagination in a way few others in my library had managed.
I stumbled across the book again last year, and was flooded with memories. Since the world is very different from my childhood, I realized I could poke around and see what I could find out about the author. I discovered an author ‘s website who I believed was the one on question, but my beloved book wasn’t listed there. Still, it was an uncommon name, and some of the others books seemed at least in the same ballpark as what was listed, so I wrote a fan letter, telling him how much the book meant to me, and how it partially inspired me in my future writing and career.
I really hoped it was the same guy.
He wrote back, and— indeed — he was the writer! He seemed genuinely touched at my note; I got the impression he didn’t receive much fan mail, and it seemed quite likely he hadn’t heard much lauding in recent years of the book that meant so much to me as a child.
So what does that have to do with today’s readings?
Normally when I pray and reflect on the readings, I try to find the connective tissue that unites the selections. What ideas do they spark that bring them together for me? In the first reading from the First Book of Kings, we have the Queen of Sheba visiting King Solomon, and in the other, we’ve got our Lord Jesus Christ discussing the latrine. I felt I had my work cut out for me.
But a line jumped out at me from the responsorial psalm. The way my printouts fall, it was the top of the second sheet of paper: “The mouth of the just man tells of wisdom and his tongue utters what is right.”
This led me back to the Queen of Sheba, as she lavished praise on King Solomon and his kingdom: “Your wisdom and prosperity surpass the report I heard. Blessed are your men, blessed these servants of yours, who stand before you always and listen to your wisdom. Blessed be the LORD, your God, whom it has pleased to place you on the throne of Israel.”
And I thought about the role that praise plays — or doesn’t play — in modern society. When’s the last time you gave an encouraging word to someone who wasn’t an immediate family member, without ulterior motive or motivation? When is the last time you’ve received such?
As a young man, I was awkward and jittery. (I note that I’m still awkward and jittery, but . . . well, I’m not young anymore.) I always found myself incredibly self-conscious talking to gals, struggling to find things to say that didn’t seem creepy or awkward. And the best advice I received in trying to deal with this is: Compliment everyone. The logic was, if I get used to complimenting everyone — regardless of whether I was interested in them romantically — then it wouldn’t feel unusual when I tried to do the same thing for someone I was interested in.
And it worked! But, curiously, it didn’t work in the way I felt it would. It felt Machiavellian when I first heard the advice: “Oh, I’m just being nice to everyone so the gals won’t notice when I’m being nice to them?” But it was a radical change to my outlook. It forced me to look, constantly, for the good in people. For the good in a situation. For the good in an attempt, or even a failure.
Those thoughts led me to the crux of Christ’s teachings for today: “But what comes out of the man, that is what defiles him. From within the man, from his heart, come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, folly. All these evils come from within and they defile.”
And, yes, I’m a firm believer in the idea of the capacity for sin in our hearts. (I’m a big proponent of the Sacrament of Confession!) But one of the best ways it seems to me to keep those thoughts out of our hearts is to replace them with good.
It’s one reason why prayer and deed is so effective at keeping us on the straight and narrow. When you’re earnestly praying, you don’t have time to gossip on social media! When you’re sitting in Eucharistic adoration, you’re not engaging in sloth by binge-watching one more television show! When you’re feeding the hungry, you’re not looking at lurid pictures.
And, yes, when you’re earnestly seeking to compliment others, your eyes, thoughts, and heart are devoted to seeing the spark of the divine that dwells within even the most bitter of people.
The section of the psalm I quoted today continues: “The law of his God is in his heart, and his steps do not falter.” Jesus taught us that the greatest commandment — the laws given by God — are to love God with all our heart, followed by loving our neighbors as God has loved us. By having our mouths tell of wisdom and our tongues uttering what is right, we can speak with love and kindness and help fulfill God’s laws.
I challenge you today to look for the good in those around you; if the Spirit so moves you, tell them what you see. And recognize that the good we see does not excuse the wrong that they do, or obviate their sins that might keep them from God. But, for such people, having their good in your mind might give you the clues and confidence to work with the Spirit to do what you can to bring them closer to a Godly path.
If you find yourself grumbling at a priest with a rambling homily, find something about it that is good or you could compliment. If your co-worker does something to make your life more difficult, think of one recent good action or habit of theirs that makes them a better person.
If you feel bitterness in your heart toward another person, try to think of one good thing about them. You don’t need to tell your worst enemy what you like about them, but having some shard of light in your heart toward them might be the seed you need for forgiveness and healing of your own.
For those around you who are beacons of light in your life . . . tell them! The secular world tells us to keep our thoughts to ourselves, that compliments are a sign of weakness. And, as in so many ways, the modern world is wrong. An unexpected compliment from a friend or loved one can buoy their hearts, bringing them closer to God.
Jesus warns of evils that lurk within the hearts of humanity. But, with thought and prayer, we can help drive out the self-destructive propensities that would keep us from God, replacing them with goodness. Look for the good in others. It’s an easy “trick” that can radically alter your entire worldview . . . and it’s a technique that can bestow rich rewards to you and others.
Today’s readings: 1 Kgs 10:1-10; Ps 37:5-6,30-31,39-40; Mk 7:14-23
