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My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
– Thomas Merton
I love this prayer. And it means so much more to me in recent years. I’ve included it in reflections before, and it was one of the first things that came to mind as I was reflecting upon todays readings, because it’s about us being blind in this world, and not seeing as God sees. We’re thinking we have things figured out, or maybe we have no idea, and we can’t decide what is the right thing to do. We don’t see the forest for the trees, so to speak. We see one tree at a time, get lost in the details and chaos, but God sees the whole forest. We just see what is right in front of us, He sees the big picture.
And so through the things in life that we encounter – the pains, the afflictions, the forks in the road – we may think we’re lost, we may think that we are blind to what’s around us, blind to God. But yet we have this desire to please Him, to be with Him, and we trust that He will be with us every step of the way, and someday, help us to see – to see not as men see, but as God sees.
Take the blind man today in the Gospel. This man was born blind. In the world he lived in, people thought things like this occurred because of their sins, or their parent’s sins, or the sins of generations before them. And while I do believe that the sins we make today do have repercussions for our children, and possibly their children, they have no bearing on things such as physical blindness, or why someone dies so young in a senseless, random accident.
And so Jesus tells the disciples this, saying “Neither he nor his parents sinned; it is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”
He wasn’t born blind because of his family’s sins, or because of something he was yet to do, or even because God knew this was going to happen.
God exists outside of time. He is always in the now – past, present and future to us are all Now to God – God does not see as men see.
And so to God – this blind man was conceived, born, lived, and was then present in front of Jesus all at the same moment to God. So as God sees his Son getting ready for this teaching moment, simultaneously He’s creating this man blind for the very purpose that God, that His Son’s divinity, be made visible through this man and his affliction. For God this is instantaneous – immediate. For humans this takes years. God exists outside of our time – He sees not as we see.
Pretty heavy stuff for a Sunday? Read the book The Science of God by Gerald L. Schroeder to go deeper into the weeds on this topic.
So what does this have to do with us today? What does this have to do with the blind man, with the anointing of David as king?
Everything.
We cannot possibly see as God sees. No human would have picked David as king, yet God did – because of His heart. Only God could see into David’s heart and see truly who he was.
Everyone thought that the man was born blind because of his family sins, but God created him for this very moment, so His works could be made visible. And who knows what else.
And the thing is, the blind man probably went through life, just as Merton, perhaps even more so saying, what did I do to deserve this? God – am I on the right road? I must have done something wrong, or my parents must have done something wrong, and it seems like I can’t win. Everything I try to do is pointless, I’m blind and cannot do anything. The only thing I can do is rely on You, and have the hope that someday, You will come and save me and set all things right. That even though I can’t see, I desire You and trust in You that someday, You will lead me on that right path.
But as Merton says, And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it.
He was on the right road all the while. And when the time came to trust in God and do His will, he did just that. Jesus came and brought light into that blind man’s world of darkness. Jesus came and brought Light into this dark world.
And so he does with us as well. But we cannot see as God sees. We are not going to understand certain moments that come by, or things that happen, or sufferings we have. We are not even going to understand our abundant blessings and why we are given them – and we all have these in our lives. We aren’t going to understand why some people appear to be blessed more than others, and we are also not going to understand and distinguish what is a true blessing from what appears to be a blessing in our worldly view and our limited sight.
All we can do is pray, and simply desire to follow His will, and trust He knows what He’s doing in our own lives.
Not as man sees, does God see. And thank God for that.
