Thursday 3/16/2017 Beware the Strangers at Your Door!

I sat in a class for refugees new to the United States last Friday.  Some of the class members were Nepali.  Others were Syrian.  The Nepalis came in comfortable and talkative.  They knew each other and their interpreter.  They were very much at ease in the class which talked about ways to maintain family strength and solidarity.  The Syrians sat toward the back and were more quiet.  I sat near them and wondered:  who are these strangers at my door?

With smiles and encouraging looks, I began to try to make friends.  The initial response was guarded, but not unfriendly.  As I began to do some of the teaching, the Syrians responded more openly.  By the end of the three hour class there was wisdom shared, concerns expressed, and real warmth exchanged between Nepalis and Syrians, and between both groups and me.  Perhaps in three more hours we might have been well on our way to becoming friends.

Yet, still I wondered, “Who are these strangers at my door?”

Conversation with resettlement agency staff later piqued my curiosity more.  A staff member who came to the US a number of years ago from Croatia talked about her experience coming to the US.  It wasn’t awful, but it was hard.

One thing she said rings in my heart.  “You get used to peace and you take it for granted.  You have a life.  It is pretty good.  Then one day the bombs fall and everything is changed forever.” As she left her country they were transported out in great army trucks that were only filled with 25 people at a time.  She asked why.  “Because if a grenade or bomb hits the truck, only a small number of people will die,” she was told.  This is reality for many of the strangers at America’s door.

Today’s Gospel is the story of the rich man who ignored the stranger at his door.  Lazarus, the stranger, was a beggar whose body was covered with sores.  He would have loved to have the scraps from the rich man’s table.  Dogs came and licked his sores.  When Lazarus died, he appeared to the rich man, wrapped in “the bosom of Abraham.”  The rich man now was the one in need, for he was in torment.  He begged Father Abraham to send Lazarus to wait on him…or at least to go warn his brothers.  But it was too late.  There was a chasm which separated the two worlds.

Lazarus was a dangerous stranger at the rich man’s door.  He wasn’t dangerous because he might rob or attack him.  He was dangerous because failure to care for his needs separated the rich man from God.

The mental health agency I lead starts every staff member/intern off with teaching classes in the local jail.  Everybody is scared of these strangers—as I was the first time I heard those heavy metal doors close behind me.  Yet literally everyone comes to see this as an eye-opening, enriching experience. They get to know the strangers.

For several years I also sent them to a day center for homeless to play bingo once a week with the chronic homeless.  Many who are homeless in the US are mentally ill, chemically dependent, or have limited intelligence.  They are, generally, more frightening than prisoners or refugees, but when a mental health professional can see each one as a PERSON, not a diagnosis or stranger, something is transfigured in their capacity to help people. These strangers are good for us to get to know.

All these people are strangers at our doors.  The name of any of them could be Lazarus.

After the refugee class, I spent the weekend in a Benedictine  convent on silent retreat. I took the Sermon on the Mount as my topic of study and prayer.  As I have heard homilies on it these past couple of months I wanted to take time to see what standards it really sets.  What is Jesus really telling us to do?

I want to know.  I want to do it.

But the standard seems very, very high.

I focused the weekend mostly on the Beatitudes, though I also discovered that the various do’s and cast outs can be folded into the Beatitudes—at least in general terms.  I used several commentaries or books that gave MANY interpretations of what the Beatitudes mean.

Generally, though, the interpretations fell into two categories:  those that focused on meanings for care of the poor, for peace and justice, and those that focused on requirements for personal holiness.

Do we hunger and thirst for “what is right” or for “holiness?”

Read the commentaries and you could conclude that is an either-or question.

But it can’t be.  Jesus said clearly, “The first commandment is this:  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength.  The second is like unto it:  you shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22: 37-38)

For Jesus, it is both-and.

So it should be both-and for me.

Back to the strangers at our doors—be they Muslim Syrians, undocumented Mexicans, homeless mentally ill, or a neighbor down the street who is just plain strange.  Who are they and what do they ask of us by their presence?

I hear fairly frequently about the strength of martyrs.  I pray regularly for persecuted Christians.  And I count among my close friends a woman from Nigeria whose house was burned just because her family was Christian and another woman whose father was murdered in Central America just because he was a Christian missionary.  I do not know how I would stand up for my faith if I were put in those circumstances.  I have a friend who prays for martyrdom.  I do not.

Please, Lord, let me die in my bed of old age.

But I have to also recognize that, like the rich man in today’s Gospel, I can and do ignore the strangers at my door.  Why?  Because getting to know strangers feels like a great risk. I can persuade myself I do not need to take that risk. I think I fear a bit of martyrdom in it.

But today’s Gospel, when I pray about it and remember the refugee class last Friday, pokes at me.  That stranger—the person I do not know, that somehow I also recognize as in need—that person is dangerous to me.  Not because he or she might hurt me, but because my faith calls for me to love this stranger and I resist.

That I don’t have time or that this is not my concern or that I don’t know how–all those are lies I tell myself to justify stepping over the stranger at my door, pretending he or she isn’t there or doesn’t matter.

THAT is dangerous.

The reading from Jeremiah today concludes,

“More tortuous than all else is the human heart,
beyond remedy; who can understand it?
I, the LORD, alone probe the mind
and test the heart,
To reward everyone according to his ways,
according to the merit of his deeds.”

It begins, “Cursed is the man who trusts in human beings,
who seeks his strength in flesh,
whose heart turns away from the LORD.”

When we as a culture–when I as a person–ignore the needs of the strangers among us because we are afraid of them—what is that saying?  Is it saying that we are not willing to take risks to love others as ourselves? Are we trusting in human beings (ourselves, our culture, our government) while our hearts turn away from the Lord?

That seems very dangerous to me.  Far more dangerous than any threat of martyrdom because it risks my Christianity.

Prayer:

Lord, why do we see martyrdom for belief in you as glorious, but the quiet martyrdom of taking care of any Lazarus we meet as “too much to ask,” “not necessary,” or even as “imprudent?”  What is prudence other than thinking like God thinks?

Forgive me, Lord, because when the stranger is really unknown to me, I hesitate.  I am afraid of the person or culture I do not know. Then I justify my hesitation.

Probe my mind.  Test my heart.  And let my deeds be pleasing to you.  Give me true prudence and wisdom. Convert me, O Lord.  Give me courage to reach out to each Lazarus you send me.  Amen.

About the Author

Mary Ortwein lives in Frankfort, Kentucky in the US. A convert to Catholicism in 1969, Mary had a deeper conversion in 2010. She earned a theology degree from St. Meinrad School of Theology in 2015. Now an Oblate of St. Meinrad, Mary takes as her model Anna, who met the Holy Family in the temple at the Presentation. Like Anna, Mary spends time praying, working in church settings, and enjoying the people she meets. Though formally retired, Mary continues to work part-time as a marriage and family therapist and therapy supervisor. A grandmother and widow, she divides the rest of her time between facilitating small faith-sharing groups, writing, and being with family and friends. Earlier in her life, Mary worked avidly in the pro-life movement. In recent years that has taken the form of Eucharistic ministry to Carebound and educating about end-of-life matters. Now, as Respect for Human Life returns to center stage, she seeks to find ways to communicate God's love and Lordship for all--from the moment of conception through the moment we appear before Jesus when life ends.

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13 Comments

  1. Thank you..every servant of the Lord experience this kind of struggle in their calling..i myself feel the same way many times.God help us.

  2. Sometimes, our very own member of the family became strangers that need our very help. May God give us the Holy Spirit and enlighten us taking care of the “strangers” in our lives.

    Thank you for this awakening reflection, Sister Mary!
    God bless!

  3. Yours is quit touching. We need to pray for discernment to know true strangers and the strangers in Wolves’ skin. Truly, there are many Lazarus in our midst, but one needs the guidance of the Holy Spirit to know them because a particular religion wouldn’t want those outside it to live. If not for the problems they are facing, truly they hate Christians with passion. Nevertheless LOVE of God conquers all.

    Thanks Mary.

  4. Sometime back, my brother died suddenly from a heart attack. He had a few possessions here and there but when he went, my siblings and i realised that his possessions where nothing. They coud not talk to us like our brother did or care for us! Its then that i learnt that there was nothing in this world so important like a human being. And my prayer everyday when i get out of the house is that i learn to love God and my neighbour.

    Thanks Mary for sharing

  5. Thank you Mary for this uplifting reflection and i cant agree with you less.
    I have always been a Catholic all of my life but left and I was brought back to the fold renewed. As I wake up everyday trusting God for new revelations in small things, my eyes and thoughts have always been opened to see.

    On “loving your neighbor as yourself”, I have wondered why children of the bondwoman will sneak into a community and wipe the entire locality to the extent that the nation is being threatened with famine and our dear leaders aren’t envisioning the repercussion for selfish reasons.
    I have heard about series of mass killings in my community by ‘strangers’ who have been hosted and accommodated in the spirit of loving your neighbor as yourself, I am embittered that the insurgency is getting out of hand. A documentary i watched at the early hours of one morning revealed that even my own ancestral origin could not be definite as the presenter guessed that my race must have originated from either of the two localities she mentioned and my peace was restored at that point in time, knowing that we also migrated from some place. My drift is that haven’t heard of my people being callous or murdering for others to live…
    I also do not pray to be martyred but the sights of murders we see makes one to wonder where ‘these’ dare murderers would find any person in this part of the world (Nigeria) except to invite everyone to continue praying for the persecuted Christians, homeless, the needy and and peace all over the whole world.
    Thanks for sharing!

  6. Beautiful reflection, Mary. Thank you for everything you do to help every Lazarus you encounter through your work. You’re an inspiration.

  7. Mary, thank you for sharing your experiences. But I have to disagree to a point. While I agree that we are called to love the stranger in our midst as individuals, this is very different than asking our nation to be blind to the risks of open admission of all strangers who come to our borders. While we as individuals can make choices as to those risks we are willing to take, I would not expect the nation to make those choices for us by practicing open admission.
    I think about how a refugee to the country would feel if, after having fled the violence of their homeland, our country does not take the steps to minimize the risk of bringing the very people these refugees are fleeing from back into their lives here in the US.
    As individuals we must welcome the stranger. As a nation we must take care to protect those within its borders.

  8. Today’s reflection has sparked some wonderful comments. For clarification, I did not mean to imply that tending to the stranger includes welcoming those who have a track record of violence or connection with terrorist or other extreme organizations. However, in reference to Syrians, those who come are not extremists, they have always been carefully screened, and, for the most part, they have suffered at the hands of the extremists, too.

    Maureen’s comments give me much pause. I have several friends from Nigeria. It is a land embattled in many ways. The risks I take to live my faith are nothing compared to the lived risks and frequent dangers in parts of Nigeria. When I say I do not want to be a martyr because I do not trust that I could be in those circumstances without bitterness, anger, and maybe vengeance, I am thinking of Nigeria and similar parts of the world. I have not been tried at that level. You, Maureen, and others in your situations deserve our prayers, because you are on the firing lines of faith.

    I think the stirrings and questionings in several of us today (including me) are like the stirrings and questionings that swirled around Jesus. He said, “Love your neighbor” and told the story of the Good Samaritan. On the cross he said, “Father, forgive them, they do not know what they are doing,” but out in the streets he debated and questioned the scribes and Pharisees. He asked people to THINK about their faith and apply principles of faith to real life situations. That is what we all are doing today! THANKS to all who have contributed to the discussion!
    Mary

  9. Hey Mary,

    Would you flee from adversity or fight for what you thought was right? By leaving are you solving the problem?
    That being said, today’s Gospel was about ignoring a problem. The Rich Man and Lazarus represent a problem with the Jewish religion at that time. Both of the characters were choosen for a specific reason. Dig a little deeper and find out why.

    Mark

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