(GN 2:18-24; PS 128:1-2, 3, 4-5, 6; HEB 2:9-11; MK 10:2-16)
Wow! These readings could not have been more perfect for this current time with all that is going on in the world, on the heels of the World Meeting of Families, and immediately following the latest events (as of this writing) in what has become the 45th school shooting in the United States this year.
If everyone lived by these readings today, even just most of the time, this world would be such a better place to live and we would have nowhere near the amount of problems we have today.
The lessons here are so simple.
God made woman as a companion for man, created from mans flesh. From One, two became, and when joined in the Sacrament of Marriage, the two become one through God. This is the power and the point behind marriage. If we want to experience all God’s love, well, as much as we can here on earth, we do so through the marriage, because this has been God’s master plan from Day 1. And I think it was providential in that God probably knew what would become of humanity, and so the marriage bond is the major weapon with which we have to fight and defeat evil. Simply put.
Jesus goes on to say in the Gospel that, “what God has joined together no human being must separate.” When a man and a woman take those vows, through the Sacrament of Marriage in Jesus’ name, we need to understand that God is joining a man and a woman together spiritually. Are we so egotistical and prideful to think that we can undo that? We may be able to undo things on paper, but spiritually, what makes us think we can undo what God has done? Unfortunately, 50% of us do.
Now, I know that there are circumstances where a marriage is not valid in the eyes of the Church, therefore it can be annulled. But in general, when things get tough, so often, married couples don’t want to work at it. They don’t want to let go of their pride and work things out. This very fact alone has so many consequences on our families, and ultimately, society today. So often we think we know a better way, or we need to do what makes us happy, and whomever we hurt or affect along the way is secondary – even if it is our kids.
For all the protest, opposition and dissent there is against same-sex marriage in the world, why is there not the same, if not more outrage about divorce? And I’m not saying we condemn those who are divorced or those who want to get a divorce. We are all capable of anything and we must not condemn. But why are we not making more of an effort to help couples through ministries and programs that aim to grow and enhance marriages? Why are we not helping couples to see the true meaning of the Sacrament of Marriage? Why are we not helping engaged couples more to learn about the sanctity of marriage, and what it really means and what they are undertaking? Why are we not aiming to help couples find God in their marriage, and the impact that God can have on the family?
For all the press and publicity on the same-sex marriage front, and don’t get me wrong, I’m not lessoning it’s importance, but divorce is the silent killer. It has been accepted as normal and almost glorified in our society. And with same-sex couples, there is the debate that homosexuality is simply something that people are born with. I’m not a scientist or a psychologist; therefore I cannot provide an educated opinion on this. There is a lot of debate on this front, and there is a fine line we must walk as Catholics to uphold the Church teachings, yet also treat people with compassion. We need not look any further than our Holy Father Pope Francis for this example.
But this I do know – divorce is a choice. It is a choice that we make after a marriage has let problems and sin take it past the point of no return. But it doesn’t have to be this way. We can prevent this. And we have the duty to work to prevent this.
We must restore the sanctity of marriage if we are ever to save our families. And if we are to ever raise kids that don’t let the evils of this world get to them, kids that turn to God instead of violence, then it starts with having both parents committed to their vows and their covenant with God, and parents that are fully invested in teaching their kids about God’s love and His Truth at home. The Church can only do so much. They may get our kids for an hour on Sunday and an hour of religious education throughout the week. But other than that, it is our responsibility as parents to teach our kids about God, and Jesus, and His ways, and how we can live out Gods commandments and Jesus’ beatitudes throughout their life. It’s hard enough to do this as a united couple, let alone individually.
It starts with the Dad. It starts with the Mom. I heard a quote at the World Meeting of Families that said, “the Father is the head of the family, and the Mother is the heart.” The husband and wife form a living union through God, and together, have the responsibility to live out this Sacrament and set the example for their children.
The stats are there. Look them up. Divorce is the silent killer in society, and even if still married, as we learned in our Marriage Encounter weekend, so many married couples are living as “married singles”. The husband and wife may still be married, but are not living a loving and sacramental marriage. They do their own thing, whatever makes them happy. And this has just as detrimental effect on our families. If our kids do not see a genuine love, devotion and dialogue between their parents, and they don’t see their parents actively pray and thank God, and include their kids in this, then who is going to teach them?
They will turn to someone else, or something else. It makes a greater probability that our kids to turn to violence, drugs, or other addictions. We all have voids, and we will look to certain things to fill that void. It is up to us to help our children want to fill that void with God’s love instead of something else.
But yet, we often complain that the world is not like it used to be. Or, “when I was a kid, I would have never gotten away with that.” We complain about when school shootings happen, and we try to understand why these things happen, and we offer our thoughts and prayers for the victims, and then we go about our daily lives. We are numb to this. I am by no means saying that what happened Thursday is a result of the parents. But youth are so impressionable, and if Mom and Dad are not united in a loving marriage, what example does that set?
Rather than trying to understand why these things happen, or analyzing what God can teach us, or thinking about how increased gun control can prevent these scenarios, why don’t we look inward? Why don’t we look at the state of marriage and the family in society today? Why don’t we look at how we can help other married coupled embrace the Sacrament of Marriage and be a living example of the Sacrament and Gods grace? Why don’t we look inward at ourselves and our own marriages, and examine what we can do better? Why don’t we look to impart our wisdom and lessons learned with others?
Are we teaching our kids about God’s love, and showing this love through our marriages and being that example? Or are we just relying on the Church to do it? And then we wonder why our kids fall away from the faith. Do we even have faith? I do. And I know a lot of you do as well. But if there is one thing I learned in Philadelphia, it was that we need to lead by example in our families. And we need to spend time, all kinds of time with our spouses and our kids. This is what they need.
We need to walk the walk. Not simply talk the talk.
Cardinal Sean Patrick O’Malley stated that the mission grounds of the Church are not in some “faraway, uncivilized land”. The new mission grounds are here in the Western Societies – Europe, the Americas, and yes, the United States of America. And it starts with our own faith – the new evangelization. We look to those fallen away Catholics who have never been taught about their own faith. We look to those “regulars”, who go to Mass and do things because, “that’s the way they’ve always been done.” Our new mission ground is within. We need to renew our Church and show how beautiful our faith truly is, and that Christ and the Sacraments can help alleviate a lot of the issues we face today.
And it starts with Sacrament of Marriage. If we hope to save our families, it starts right at the top with Mom and Dad. This is fixable. God gave us this gift, the gift of marriage. Jesus came as our brother to show us the grace of marriage, and it’s through Him that we fix it. And if we start with living the Sacrament of Marriage, it would be amazing to see how many other issues fix themselves.
