A Visit to Death Row

jail cellThe readings for Mass today are about prison and then Jesus talked about his impending death.  The first reading gave the account of Saint Paul’s incarceration in prison, and in the Gospel today, Jesus spoke of his death.

I spent the entire day Monday, thinking about our Archbishop’s visit this past Sunday, at the men’s maximum security prison where I volunteer at.  It was a profound experience that I will remember the rest of my life, especially our visit to Death Row.  How can I read the readings for Mass today, without reflecting on the events of this past Sunday?  How can I not share them with you?  They apply so profoundly to the readings for Mass today.

The first reading from the Acts of the Apostles is about a miracle that occurred in prison.   It was a miracle on many levels, beginning with the earthquake, the doors to the jail cells opening, and the chains of all of the prisoners were pulled loose.  The miracles continued when the prisoners did not run away to escape, because of their compassion for their jailer, who would have been put to death because of their escape.  The last miracle was the greatest of all – the jailer’s conversion of heart and acceptance of Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior.  Talk about a jailhouse conversion!  Except this time, it was the jailer who had a conversion.

Then, Jesus spoke of his death in the Gospel and the coming of the Holy Spirit:

“I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go.  For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you.  But, if I go, I will send him to you.  And when he comes he will convict the world in regard to sin and righteousness and condemnation: sin, because they do not believe in me; righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you will no longer see me; condemnation, because the ruler of this world has been condemned.”

The inmates in our prison were convicted because of their very serious sins and they are suffering the consequences of their actions, by their incarceration.  However, the verse from the Gospel today that we just read said that the main sin is not believing in Jesus Christ.  People commit serious crimes sometimes as a misdirected, misguided, or perverted attempt to be loved, because they do not know of Christ’s love for them.

Hate is love perverted.  Evil is love that became twisted out of shape into something that no longer resembles the beauty of it’s original form.  The devil and his demons were once very beautiful angels that adorned God’s throne in heaven, until their love for God turned inward into selfishness.  The state of the devil and his demons is a permanent condition, but Jesus Christ changed all of that for mankind by his death on the cross.  We are not convicted and condemned to suffer for our sins forever, but that is only because of Christ’s compassion for us.

Our Archbishop visited us for Mass this past Sunday, for our usual Sunday Mass at the maximum security men’s prison where I volunteer at.  The words he spoke in his homily was like the miracle of the earthquake in today’s first reading.  His words helped to set our souls free from the lingering traces of our sins and imperfections, both great and small.  It was about not having to earn God’s love, or try to make Him love us more, or that we do not deserve His love, or that God will love us less when we fall and commit a serious sin.  God already loves us just because he created us.  We can’t earn His love.  We can’t do anything to deserve His love, or increase His love for us, or cause Him to lose His love for us.  The Archbishop’s homily was very profound.

When we arrived at Death Row, there were four Catholic men waiting in four cages against the wall.  The metal was so thick you couldn’t see through them very well to see their faces clearly, but their hands said everything.  We were allowed to shake their hands through a metal slot in the steel cage.  The Archbishop heard their confessions and brought them communion and gave each of the inmates a missal of the daily readings for Mass.  They were all so grateful.  But, this is not what stood out in my memory, that lingered in my soul and tugged at my heart all day.

One of the men’s conversion and repentence was so profound and complete.  His honesty and genuineness cut to your heart.  You could tell that he thought about what he was going to say for a long time before our Archbishop’s visit.  This inmate spoke from his heart to the Archbishop, treating him almost like his father.  He said he didn’t feel good about himself, but that he wanted to become a better person, he wanted to make the Archbishop proud of him.  I felt like crying when I heard these words.  That he wanted to become a better person and make the Archbishop proud of him.

Then, the Archbishop gave him a short version of the homily that he gave to all of us during the Mass earlier in the afternoon.  It seemed as if those were the words that this inmate was meant to hear, at that moment in time.  That he didn’t have to earn God’s love by constantly seeking to be a better and better person.  God already loves him unconditionally.  And, whether he has committed serious sins or not, God will never quit loving him.  Even when we sin, God loves us.  He loved us enough to give us His son, to set us free from our own sins, and the residual effects of sin that we often feel so guilty about.  We can let go of the guilt, once our sin has been confessed.  This is true for each one of us.

And this inmate’s genuine conversion on death row is why the death penalty is wrong.  This inmate withdrew his petition against his sentence,and this means that if a new governor is elected that believes in the death penalty, this inmate will accept his death as due punishment for his sins.  This is the same thing that the good thief on the cross did, and Saint Dismas became the first saint in the Catholic church.

We are called to be counter cultural.  We are called to love, as Christ himself loves us, for we are all repentant sinners, both great and small.

About the Author

Hello! My name is Laura Kazlas. As a child, I was raised in an atheist family, but came to believe in God when I was 12 years old. I was baptized because of the words that I read in the bible. I later became a Catholic because of the Mass. The first time my husband brought me to Mass, I thought it was the most holy, beautiful sense of worshiping God that I had ever experienced. I still do! My husband John and I have been married for 37 years. We have a son, a daughter, and two granddaughters. We are in the process of adopting a three year old little girl. We live in Salem, Oregon in the United States. I currently serve as the program coordinator for Catholic ministry at a local maximum security men's prison. I‘m also a supervisor for Mount Angel Seminary’s field education program, in Oregon.

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5 Comments

  1. Dear Laura,
    It’s nice to know and see the driving face behind A Catholic Moment !!
    I am writing to you from Johannesburg in South Africa and I am one Catholic who has signed up to receive the daily Missal from your inspiring blog. Well done !!
    A special thank you as well for altering the time you post …I used to receive your post a day later but now it is arriving right on time.
    Blessings to you and your team and family ,
    Tim Simba.

  2. Dear Ms Kazlas,

    What an inspiring insight!! I admire the efforts you are putting in to bring God’s message across. You are truly living the life that God wants each and everyone one of us to live– spread His Word and make a difference in someone’s life.

    May God shower you with his loving grace always!

    Sincerely,
    Joan (Philippines)

  3. Hi Tim. Thanks for writing! Glad to hear you are receiving the reflections on time now. I personally live in a different time zone from all of the other writers now. There is a three hour time difference, so my reflections publish 3 hours later than the other writers, but I will work on this. Peace. Laura Kazlas

  4. How kind of you to write, Joan. Thank you! However, as Catholics we all serve the Lord in our own way. We are many parts but all one body. Peace. Laura Kazlas

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