The parable of the foolish and wise virgins offers a beautiful signpost for living a happy and holy marriage. While we often think of this parable in terms of our own preparedness for the coming of the Kingdom (or unpreparedness), when combined with today’s first reading we see the divine template Jesus gave us for marriage in this parable. This template, one that reveals the solid foundation of a divine love story between a man and a woman, finds it’s foundation in holiness. When firmly set in holiness the sacrament of marriage will come into the fullness of God’s original plan for man and woman. However, the key for such fullness lies within the hearts of both the man and the woman and their personal desire to reach holiness.
This is the will of God, your holiness:
that you refrain from immorality,
that each of you know how to acquire a wife for himself
in holiness and honor, not in lustful passion
… For God did not call us to impurity but to holiness.
Therefore, whoever disregards this,
disregards not a human being but God,
who also gives his Holy Spirit to you. 1 Thessalonians 4: 3-5, 8
Sacrament of Marriage
God gave us seven sacraments and the sacrament of marriage has a unique role in the expansion of his love into the world. Through this sacrament God’s love enters into the world in two unique ways; through the marital love between a man and a woman and through the procreation of children. God even created our bodies to form together perfectly in the support of the expansion of his love. However, before God’s love can expand fully the relationship between a man and a woman must find it’s foundation in God’s holiness. Once set in holiness doors open for the man and his wife, doors that open into God’s abundant blessings. The blessings then pass onto their children and their children’s children – up to a thousand generations. Remember, in the beginning God had a plan and this plan included infinite blessings for his children.
When God created humankind, he made them in the likeness of God. Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them “Humankind” when they were created. – Genesis 5: 1A-2
Symbolism and The Lamp
The usage of the word “lamp” reminds us that the light of Christ lives within each and every one of us. Our body is akin to the lamp, a vessel for Jesus Christ. The oil is the Holy Spirit living within each of us – the Advocate that Christ gave us. Through the sacrament of marriage the man’s body and the woman’s body become one body – one lamp. Through a life of holiness this lamp becomes filled with holy oil, the perfect place for their marriage and their children to thrive. When spouses are filled with the holy oil of the Holy Spirit their marriages, and their children, will have much to offer the world.
However, holy oil comes at a cost, and the cost is love. In order for this oil to expand within we must give of ourselves to others for the sake of the Kingdom. Every time we do an act of service, every time we love, every time we forgive another person holy oil is added to our lamp. The surest way to grow in love for others and increase our oil is to become holy and follow God’s word. Then we become like the wise virgins with full lamps.
In our first reading Paul reveals to us God’s plan for marriage and the expansion of love within it – a plan that starts before the wedding day. God does indeed offer “marriage preparation”, preparation that calls us into holiness long before we enter into the sacrament of marriage. God calls all future spouses into a life of holiness and chastity before the wedding day for a reason – because marriage is special. It is a spiritual gift God gave our first parents, Adam and Eve. God desires to bestow abundant blessings inside this gift. However, before we can receive the fullness of this abundance we need to be congruent with his love and holiness.
Obtaining Divine Oil
We live in a world where we will likely fall short of the holiness God desires. After all, sin has entered in, and it entered in through the first marriage of Adam and Eve. Satan attacked this sacred union – maybe he had a bit of an understanding of its spiritual power. Spouses all around the globe will continue to experience conflict and heartache while evil is still afoot.
While pain and heartache sometimes feel almost unbearable, our pain also provides the perfect space for us to obtain divine oil! During human struggles spouses, and single people alike, must turn to our Triune God – the One who alone can guide us home to him. With the innocence of the virgins we are called to follow him so he can reveal to us the healing path our hearts need – the path the will fill our lamps with oil.
God reveals this path to us when we spend time with him. Now it’s time to ask yourself how you can best spend time with God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. And if you are married, dating, or engaged, how can the two of you best spend time with him together.
How I Do It
I personally meet our Triune God in frequent daily Mass, perpetual adoration, Holy Communion, in the sacrament of reconciliation, and when I listen to Christian music throughout the day. My husband and I meet God in regular Mass attendance, prayer, and in our daily conversations. Most of all, I believe we meet him in our love, patience, and forgiveness of each other. God is all around the two of us, continually blessing our marriage with his presence and love. And it is through our struggles that we have come to experience more of God and his holiness.
Sacred Heart of Jesus – have mercy on us.
Father God – consume us.
Holy Spirit – enter into us.
Mother Mary, most beautiful virgin, – pray for us
