Every October since I could count months , I would get extremely excited and still do!!! It is the month of my BIRTHDAY!!!!!! so that entails a party and celebration, cake and goodies and above all birthday gifts!!!!!!!!
But I always remember my mom telling us October is the month of Our Lady so we need to stick to the daily rosary. ( I am sure she is reading this and smiling) She reminded me of this even this year!! I never knew details I was beyond thrilled that my birthday month was SO important that it was dedicated to Our Lady!!! She is my secret and personal messenger to God .
While recently I read more about the battle of Lepanto, I was fascinated how a rosary could prove so powerful. So this year I embarked on the 54 day rosary Novena… and it ends today! The journey was something of a revelation to me , about myself, my priorities and most importantly my faith.
I was horrible at it! Unlike everyone who gives testimony , I would remember to say the rosary after a day of work and sit in bed and try my hardest to focus while I dozed off and my hands slipped the rosary and I lost track or count. Some days I just didnt say so to not piss off Mother Mary I would say 2-3 rosaries the following day. BIG MISTAKE!! I just rattled off the prayers alongside a youtube podcast of the novena so I stay awake but I found myself forgetting to respond and dreaming about the days events and worries. On exam days, I would just skip the idea — way to long. I need to read and revise for my paper! To be noted I watched my favorite series through my meal times and even caught up on the season finale post my exams!
I started the novena with 3 petitions in my mind, while one was instantly responded to, the other two were a massive struggle to figure out. I did realise towards my last few days of prayer what I need to do to attain my petitions but that will require a few more Octobers of hanging on to Our Lady and her bouquet of roses! To be very honest, if I would be graded for the novena, I would get a D grade in consistency and performance , B grade in repentance and A + for never giving up!!!!!
Maybe that was is required of me! In my journey of faith with Jesus .. I am inconsistent with falling in sin and temptations and never sticking to resolutions I make , hanging onto to past mistakes and rationalizing my wrong behavior with “but every one does it!!” I did acknowledge my misdeeds and repent but walked into the same trap and fell for it! and the worst part I sought approval and advise from persons who had either no faith or a very worldly view on issues in life. So I decided to try and be more consistent and say one simple rosary every day and wake up with a more gratitude filled morning, even a simple thank you Lord in my head the time I sat for a meal made me more aware of being in His presence. I did repent and am keeping my mind open and jotting down cues for falling into sin again.. avoiding the neighbor who initiates the gossip, responding positively to that student who keeps pestering at odd hours, getting less rash and sarcastic in my responses to situations I dislike, praying for that friend who I feel needs more grace than me, blocking / unfollowing those humans who spread negativity and lawlessness and make me question my own faith!!
But above all I learnt I cannot give up on my faith!! I may procrastinate or deviate but I will cling to the cloak of Jesus and hang onto Mother Marys affection for added bonus grades so when I walk to St Peter at the gates of Heaven, I shall say beaming with pride and a glowing recommendation
” You do not know who my mother is !?!” October is her Month!
Prayer:
Dearest Mama Mary,
Thank you for these amazing 54 days of helping me find you and my faith in Jesus being strengthened more than ever. Help and guide those who read this reflection today with your blessings and graces for the faith to be renewed and to never give up on you.
Amen
