When God comes, there is a difference in your mind. When God comes, there is a difference in your heart. When God comes, there is a difference in your life. Those changes are called conversion. Those changes may be momentarily painful, especially if you are not following the ways of God. But as they come, there is a sense of rightness, of clarity, of integrity, of new purpose, of joy—even if God coming means your life is turned upside down.
Our readings today are full of such conversions.
Conversion of Paul
Today is the Feast of the Conversion of St. Paul. Paul’s memory of his initial conversion is the first reading. He was going to Damascus to imprison and maybe kill more Christians. In his mind, he was doing what God wanted. He was a well-educated Pharisee who knew the Law, the Prophets, and the requirements of Jewish life. He knew about the coming Messiah, but what he had heard of Jesus did not cause him to believe Jesus the Nazorean was also Jesus, the Christ. When he left for Damascus that morning, he was pretty sure of himself.
But when God came to him on the road to Damascus—EVERYTHING changed: his name, his purpose in life, his understanding of God and Christ, even his identity. He was very much going down the wrong road, even though he thought he was on the right one. That day there was bright, blinding light. There was a voice saying, “Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me?” Saul (soon to be Paul) didn’t recognize the voice. But he queried it: “Who are you, sir?” he said.
The voice answered, “I am Jesus the Nazorean whom you are persecuting.” Jesus who was God in the flesh was the voice and the light. He met Saul where he was and changed him forever.
When God comes, he has effect.
And Ananias
God came to Ananias, too, and had effect on him. His conversion that day was not quite so dramatic, but it was just as real—and just as important. Ananias was already a Christian, but Jesus had to convert him, too. The story of Ananias’ conversion is in Acts 9: 10-19. Jesus came to Ananias in a vision. Ananias, already a disciple, knew it was Christ. Jesus told him, “Get up and go to the street called Straight and ask at the house of Judas for a man from Tarsus named Saul. He is there praying.” Ananias knew who Saul was and so he talked back to Jesus, saying, “Lord, I have heard from many sources about this man, what evil things he has done to your holy ones.”
Then came the moment of Ananias’ conversion, “But the Lord said to him, ‘Go, for this man is a chosen instrument of mine to carry my name before Gentiles, kings, and Israelites, and I will show him what he will have to suffer for my name.”
So Ananias went.
And because of the conversions of Paul and Ananias, phenomenal strides were made in the first century to live out today’s Gospel:
“Go into the whole world
and proclaim the Gospel to every creature.
Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved;
whoever does not believe will be condemned.
Catholic Understanding of Conversion
Conversion, in our Catholic understanding, is not a one-time thing. There is the conversion to a loving, obedient relationship with God and following Jesus’ Way as disciples (what Jesus did with Paul that day), and then there are many further conversions as that relationship with God through Christ continues to change our hearts, minds, and lives to make us both holy and apostles (what Jesus did that day with Ananias).
Conversions in our lives can be dramatic or quiet. For the most part, they are mediated through a homily, an understanding in prayer, a conversation, a life event. For some who grew up in the Faith, it comes when there is the sudden, profound realization that all these worship, moral, and community things you’ve been doing have a rich, wonderful meaning you had never seen. For those of us who wandered away from God, it may be an encounter like Paul’s or the quieter realization of the Prodigal Son that we have sinned and need to return to our Father’s house. It may be in crisis or period of peace. For us when we are disciples, it may be a seemingly ordinary time of prayer, study, conversation, or worship.
But in every instance, the Sword of the Spirit cuts through what holds us back from God. There is Light that gives understanding. There is release of Fruits of the Spirit. There is awareness that life needs to change—and it does.
When God comes, there is always effect.
The conversion of St. Paul would not have been complete without the conversion of Ananias. God calls his disciples to go to those who are not yet disciples. He calls his disciples literally to go “to all the world.”
Do we? I think we often don’t know what to do to “go.” Like Ananias, we need Jesus to tell us, “Go to the street called Straight to the house of Judas…and lay hands on him, that he may regain his sight.”
How might Jesus phrase it to me today? He might say, “Go to the parish funeral this morning, and not only pray for the deceased, but also go out of your way to welcome and console family.” “Go, and meet the person from out of town who heard about the Life in Spirit seminar starting. Meet her by the interstate and guide her to the house.” “Go, spend time with the friend who wants to talk with you.” Maybe even, “Go, return the phone calls, write the emails, and run the errands that didn’t get done yesterday. Others are depending on you. You witness My Love when you do these small things.”
I am reminded of Saint Mother Teresa’s saying, “Do small things with great love.”
Take the risk: Ask God to come.
If you are reading this and thinking, “I’ve never had a sense that God has come to me,” then ask God for it. He will answer your prayer.
If you are reading this and thinking, “I could be Paul, but not Ananias,” consider the final part of the Great Commission in Mark:
These signs will accompany those who believe:
in my name they will drive out demons,
they will speak new languages.
They will pick up serpents with their hands,
and if they drink any deadly thing, it will not harm them.
They will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover.”
When God moves us from disciple to apostle, he gives us what we need. We can drive out evil. We can talk in ways we’ve never talked before. We can be very close to danger and not be harmed. When we reach out to touch people with God’s love, it can have profound effect.
How is God calling you to conversion now? How is God coming to you?
Prayer:
Lord, every time You come to me, You bear fruit. Sometimes it is a tiny shift in how I see things. Sometimes it is a whole new understanding of a part of Scripture or a Mystery of Faith. Sometimes it is a way I am sinning. Sometimes it is an outreach I am called to make. Like Paul, I can be blind. Like Paul, sometimes I don’t immediately recognize it is You. Like Ananias, I need to understand if you ask me to do something that is new. Like Ananias, I can be afraid. But lead me, guide me, Lord. Come and convert me closer.
