ANECDOTE:
A bishop once visited a parish for confirmation, and during the homily he spotted one of the candidates to be confirmed and asked her: “What is matrimony?”. To the greatest disappointment of everybody, the girl said, “marriage is a place where souls suffer for a time for their sins.” But the parish priest reacted spontaneously; “No, no, that is purgatory.” And the bishop retorted, “let her be! She might be right. What do you and I know about marriage?”
The response of this girl appears to be out of point, yet it speaks volumes about the reality of marriage. It is as if many people go into marriage to experience hell. And instead of being a source of fulfilment, it turns out to be a source of pains and sorrows. This does not negate the fact that there are still many who have been privileged to live a fulfilled married life. We have a recorded testimony of a British couple, Percy and Florence Arrowsmith who celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary on June 1, 2005. In one of her interviews, madam Florence said; “We still love one another, that’s the most important part.” And when asked about the secret of their long marriage, she said unambiguously that you must never be afraid to say “sorry.” “You must never go to sleep bad friends”. There are times in every marriage for forgiving and forgetting and saying, “I’m sorry” and going to sleep good friends. On his part, Mr. Percy said his secret to marital bliss was just two words: “Yes, dear.” (Copyright 2005 Reuters Limited).
THE FIRST READING: 2:18-24
This Genesis account makes it clear that matrimonial union is not in any way human invension, rather an essential and indispensable part of God’s plan for the man he created.This passage equally shows that the ancient Israelites knew the importance of man and woman being joined one to another. Hence the divine mathematical formula of one plus one, equal to one which does not fit into the worldly mathematics. This a pure proof of the divine origin of marriage and the reason why it cannot be toiled with by man. Meanwhile the hagiographer tells us that the woman is made of the rib of man, and, hence, she is “bone of his bone, flesh of his flesh.” Figuratively, “bone” stands for strength and “flesh” stands for weakness. Woman’s origin makes her one with man. They are bonded in God’s deliberate creation of them. The clearest expression of this bonding is found in the marriage of a man and woman and their co-creation, with God, of a child, making of the three new family unit. Woman is found to be a “suitable partner” for man. Hence the scripture says, “a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife” with the result that, “the two of them become one flesh.” The Genesis text attributes two essential qualities to marriage: unity (the two shall become one) and complementarity or mutual interdependence. The theme of marital bonding, which is essential for human fulfillment and happiness in marriage and families, appears in both the first reading and today’s Gospel. The Gospel in particular presents Jesus’ teaching on marriage and divorce. Here, divorce reveals an absence of marital bonding and a defeat of the original plan of God for the oneness of a man and a woman in a sacred matrimony. It equally reveals the polarity and the banality that Sacramental matrimony has assumed today. It is simply a sign of secularist defeat of the sacredness of marriage.
THE SECOND READING: HEBREWS 2:9-11
The Letter to the Hebrews is a sermon which explains the meaning of the early Christian confession that Christ died for us so that He might reconcile us with the Father. It presents Christ as the great High Priest who willingly offered himself on our behalf. He is both the Priest and the Victim. Today’s passage says that, by the grace of God, Jesus tasted death, and through his death and reconciliation, we have become adopted sons and daughters of God. This divine sonship remains a great privilege to all who acknowledge the redemptive power of Jesus Christ. He is that “Perfect One” who has established a perfect covenant through which a new relationship that qualifies us to approach God with confidence and boldness has been established. He became the brother and Saviour of all people – the good and the bad, the divorced, gays, lesbians – everyone. Jesus’ prohibition of divorce can be a source of suffering for those who experience difficult married lives. But Paul suggests that we have to accept pain the way Jesus did as the suffering we should endure on the way to glory.
GOSPEL EXEGESIS: MARK 10:2-16
In the typical ancient Jewish culture (we must understand here that there is no clear cut distinction between the culture of the people and their religious practices) the wife was considered to be a husband’s property with no legal rights whatsoever. This conception and practice gave room for anormalies in the way and manner the men behave towards their wives. And due to the creeping culture of divorce and maltretment of women at whim, Moses commanded the men at least to give the woman to be abandoned a certificate of divorce which stated: “She is not my wife and I am not her husband.” The man is expected to give this inscription to the woman before he let her leave. The marriage is then nullified at the completion of this process. In this way, she would at least be free to remarry. Technically, without this certificate, she would still be considered the “property” of the man.Moses did not in anyway institute a different law concerning marriage nor did he contest the original plan of God, rather his intervention was meant to liberate women from the willful enslavement by the man as well as to give them some kind of freedom and protection.
However, down the lane of history, there came two theological schools Shammai and Hillel that dealt on the Mosaic Law. These two schools differ in ideology and interpretation of the Mosaic Law. The Shammai seemed to be more conservative while Hillel appeared more liberal. According to these schools, Moses allowed divorce when the husband found “some indecency” in his wife. “When a man, after marrying a woman and having relations with her, is later displeased with her because he finds in her something indecent, he writes out a bill of divorce and hands it to her, thus dismissing her from his house” (Deuteronomy 24:1). The Shammai School interpreted “indecency” as adultery, or some grounds of sexual impropriety, while the Hillel School interpreted it as anything which the husband did not like in his wife’s word, behavior, actions, or even her appearance. There are grounds for divorce if the wife burned his breakfast, put too much salt on his food, showed disrespect to him, spoke disrespectfully of her husband’s parents in his presence, spoke to a man on the street, or even let her hair down in public — or simply if he found a woman who was more attractive to him! Perhaps the most significant difference between their customs and ours lay in the status of the different genders. A man could divorce a woman at will and anytime he wants, while a woman on the contrary could had not the right to divorce a man for whatever cause. This is the reason why Jesus told the Pharisees that it is because of the misbehaviour of their ancestors and their stubbornness that Moses decided to allow them issue certificate of divorce as a way of liberating women from the frivolous attitude of men.
JESUS’ TEACHING ON MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE: Jesus was very clear in defending the permanency and indissolubilty of marriage contained in the original plan of God. Jesus’ prohibition of divorce here stands out dramatically for its sternness, which admits of no exceptions. It is interesting to note that Matthew’s parallel version (in Mt 19) adds the exception “except for unchastity/adultery” (v.9); Luke (in 16:18) does not include this exception. Jesus did not claim to introduce a new teaching. He reminded the Jews that his doctrine went back to the original intention of God. Citing the book of Genesis, Jesus proved that God made us male and female and commanded that “the two shall become one flesh.” He then drew the conclusion that “they are no longer two, but one body” – partners with equal rights. The marriage relationship is God’s gift to us. It is God’s way of providing a lover, a helpmate, someone who will always be there for us. Hence, He declared that no man was allowed to separate what God had joined together (Mt 19:6). In contrast with the prevailing culture, Jesus presents man and woman as having equal rights and their marriage as essentially a permanent relationship. However, by creating them male and female, God gave man and woman an equal personal dignity (CCC 2334). Jesus’ insistence on the permanency of marriage might have reminded the Pharisees of Yahweh’s warning given through his last prophet: “I hate divorce” (Malachi 2:16). Jesus also explains that Moses’ permission for divorce was only a temporary concession to control the growing rate of divorce even in his time, by introducing a law governing divorce. He (Jesus) however adds that it was because of the hard-heartedness of the Jewish men that Moses allowed such a concession.
Today the culture of divorce is predominant in our society. Even Christian men and women of our time have become prey to this new trend of life. The sanctity and permanency of marriage is no more held at a high esteem. Divorce has turn out to be a shortcut to dealing with persistent marital issues. Many of those who embrace this culture think that by liberating themselves from their partners, they will be free and happy and live in peace. That is a pure deception. How many of the divorced persons are truly happy in the real sense of the word “happy”. The teaching of the Church about divorce cannot be compromised because it follows suit with the original plan of God. The Catechism of the Catholic Church summarizes the Church’s teaching: “Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law. It claims to break the contract, to which the spouses freely consented, to live with each other till death. Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society. This disorder brings grave harm to the deserted spouse, to children traumatized by the separation of their parents and often torn between them, and because of its contagious effect which makes it truly a plague on society” (CCC 2384 & 2385).
LIFE MESSAGE:
1. Marriage is a continuous school without graduation. Once the consent has been exchanged and the union consummated, the marriage remains sacrosanct.
2. Marriage is built and not already made. The spouses must make effort to create a good marriage through daily commitment to leading a life of sharing, forgiveness and sacrificial love.
3. Divorce is not an option for an unsuccessful marriage. Couples should be courageous enough to rise and denounce the culture of divorce as its effects are more grievous than the challenges of marriage itself.
4. Cohabitation is not another form of marriage. Today many divorced persons seem to have found refuge in cohabitation. And owing to the challenges of marriage, many young persons are giving in to cohabitation as a way of freeing themselves from marital obligations. People must be made to understand that cohabitation is an aberration and a contradiction to the initial plan of God on marriage. More importantly, parents must make sure that children understand that cohabitation is morally evil and not an innocent option for fun.
5. Pastoral care must be extended to the divorced and troubled families. They must be made to understand that God has not abandoned them. Hence they must not on any account be excluded from the Christian community. And according to the catechism of the Catholic Church, “They should be encouraged to listen to the Word of God, to attend the Sacrifice of the Mass, to persevere in prayer, to contribute to works of charity and to community efforts for justice, to bring up their children in the Christian Faith, to cultivate the spirit and practice of penance and thus implore, day by day, God’s grace” (CCC 1651). The Church must also pay attention to children who are most wounded by the “plague” of divorce. They are precious gifts that should be cherished, nourished and accompanied so that they may lead a life of despair.
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, You alone are the source and origin of every home. Touch the hearts of men and women of our time to understand that relationship requires sacrifice, just as You offered your own Son so as to keep alive our relationship with You. Help all the families who do not know the joy of togetherness to look up to You, the source of peace and joy, and so therefore abandon individual inclinations in order to build again homes where peace and joy will reign. Through Christ our Lord. Amen.
PAX VOBIS!
