So I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven;
hence, she has shown great love.
But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little.”
He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”
The others at table said to themselves,
“Who is this who even forgives sins?”
But he said to the woman,
“Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
As I sit to type this reflection, I ponder over the last one year of writing reflections for this website, and the Gospel seemed befitting. I was a regular reader of the reflections especially those on Saturday. I would read the daily word and then quickly search for the reflection to follow it in a lay mans words and make more sense to me.
Over the months I would always comment anonymously into the comment box below the reflection and feel like I was part of a community. One such day last year as I had just completed my residency, was taking some time off after 6 years of working every day … I needed some time to reflect on what and where I was in my journey of faith.
I was that woman ! I knew there was a Messiah and I knew the ways of His arrival and teachings (thanks to my devout catholic upbringing and family) but how much was I implementing it in my daily life —- ZERO! I attended the sunday mass and days of obligation, said my prayers as I woke up and slept. I even watched some videos of catholic priests and Men and Women on youtube talking about the faith and how God fills them with happiness.. while I felt nothing!!
One night I get an email from Laura, the editor last year who invited me to write and fill in when needed since I was an Indian young catholic and above all a pro life obstetrician and gynecologist ( that is a hard combination to find !) So while I started out very excited to reflect and help honing my writing skills , my faith was still in limbo! Just like the woman.
My faith and the journey as an author here has been almost similar … while there are many times when I forgot to post or schedule due to work or complete absentmindedness, there were days when the faith sparked in me and I wrote reflections from my own life experiences and my heart which resonated with all you readers and faithful across the globe. While I adjusted using this system to publish, I had to be repeatedly be explained about the blunders I made with scheduling and posting my reflections and it got to a point where I could feel the frustration of the editor through email!! (like the Pharisee) Some days the faith was not working within me and I would treat this more like a to do task once a week, while some days I would just use this as a journal to remind myself what I was taught as a child and how my faith made a difference to any of you.
But what kept me going was the fact that this was one of the few ways I stuck to my faith in the hustle of my everyday chaos of living a daily life, the constant positive comments I received from fellow Goans/ Indians across the globe and my own family and seniors. This was my jar of oil with which I anointed my Lords feet…( maybe little toe). Every thursday I see how much faith all of you have within just like me and as we travel along this bumpy ride of our journey to finding faith I keep my eyes on the prize of reaching heaven.
I agree, and am being honest, I have my days rather months of doubts and wonder why certain events take place but in the end I realise I should not act like the Pharisee and use this platform to flaunt my faith but focus on being on constant track cause when I do not have faith, or it is shaken off track .. I sin and fall prey to the evil ones plans.
Today as I complete a year of posting my reflections on this site, I thank Laura and Tom for being my guardian angels and constantly helping me with finding my place here in sharing my take on the gospel. I thank all the amazing people who are reading this and wondering how the year went by ( just like me ) and I hope as we journey along this path of finding our faith before we meet the messiah , we are forgiven for our 500 sins and rejoice at the feet of the Lord!!!
Prayer:
Thank you Lord Jesus for this website and all the authors and readers, who are at various stages of their journey in finding you. Help me and guide me Lord to find my own inner faith so I can sit at your feet and rejoice when you forgive ass my trespasses. I ask your Mother, Blessed Mary to help me and guide me on a daily basis in my decisions and actions in response to temptations. Bless every person who reads this and is in need of you in their life, just like I need you. Amen
