“To anyone who has, more will be given and he will grow rich; from anyone who has not, even what he has will be taken away.” Words Jesus spoke to his disciples, while sharing with them the obligation they carry because they are blessed to see and hear the truth. This truth is the truth that prophets and righteous people before them longed to understand; however, they did not comprehend. Jesus did not use parables for his disciples to understand his message – he was able to speak freely to them. How blessed were they!
There was a period of time in my life where I believed with all my heart that I understood what God wanted for me. Additionally, I believed I understood this particular Gospel. I had been blessed with much and I was returning it back to God, my riches were well on their way – or so I thought… Now I understand that I am completely clueless when it comes to understanding the will of God. Oh how I do not have “eyes that see”. Looking back, how could I have seen what was impossible for my human eyes to see. The vastness and inexplicable nature of God is shrouded from us mere mortals.
I’m talking about my “Joy of Raphael” days. The days when I owned and operated a holistic wellness center in Carmel, Indiana. Yes, I had been given much – financial resources to fund the practice, intellect needed to be both Naturopath and owner/operator, a heart for healing and most of all I had the “God” piece necessary for such a calling – or so I thought. After all, I was rather devout. Persistent prayer, frequent daily Mass, and regular hours spent in the Adoration Chapel were all part of my daily life. Yes, I believed I was doing God’s will, yet, I was breaking inside. The riches promised never came and Joy of Raphael never blossomed. Instead of becoming “rich” I experienced an almost complete physical and mental collapse.
However, through it all I kept tuning to Christ and this, needless to say, was my saving grace. During a Novena to Saint Theresa of Lisieux I begged for God to rescue me from Joy of Raphael – asking God to do whatever it took to get me out of this pain. I couldn’t see a way out; however, I knew God already had the way mapped out. Then one morning after Mass on day 4 or 5 of the Novena, as I walked to my car, my eyes spotted it. Right outside of my driver side door lay the most beautiful long stemmed pink rose I had ever seen – complete with four little buds ready to burst open and a magnificent bloom already in it’s full glory. This was just not any rose, it was a rose sent to me from Heaven compliment of Saint Theresa. I broke down and wept, God had heard my prayers.
This was a turning point in my life. The story ends up beautifully and now I am truly rich. I surrendered and God rescued me. No longer do I believe I know what God desires of me, rather, all I know is that I must follow him. It is in our un-understanding that we understand. We could never know the will of God, we could never know what it is that he wants of us, yet, we can still participate in his mighty plan for all the earth. It is in our un-understanding that we will see and hear. It is here where we are his sheep – the sheep who know and hear his voice. All we need to do is continually surrender to him, turn to him with every ounce of our being and he will lead. Our eyes will be blessed because they will see our smallness in relation to God, our ears will be blessed because they will hear his quite message. We will decrease and he will increase – then we will become rich.
Please Father God – do not let us be like the many prophets or righteous who believed they knew you when they did not – please do not let us suffer the pain of not knowing you, the pain of living a life apart from you. Please do not let us be the ones who did works in your name, yet you do not know them. Rather, let us truly hear your words, let us know you so that we can participate in the great plan you have for us as your children – especially when we do not understand. Let us fully surrender to you with all of who we are.
Reading 1: Exodus 19:1-2, 9-11. 16-20B
Responsorial Psalm: Daniel 3: 52b
Gospel: Matthew 13:10-17
Live healthy, Live Happy, Live Wholly – LIVE!
Jesus – I love you!
